As a mother of six, now a grandmother of four beautiful grandbabies, there is one truth: When the kids leave the nest, they multiply and then come back -- over and over again.
Now I have drawn the line on how I expect them to behave when they come back, and I hope this blog helps others to draw that line as well.
In August of 2002 we moved into a new home, and the move inspired me to take a stand about who I am and how I would be treated by other family members.
It was an important moment for me as I sat down and wrote out a set of rules that I expected everyone to abide by when they were in my home. At the time, the kids were in the process of leaving the nest. Those were the bittersweet moments in which kids become adults and take responsibility for their own lives. Inevitably, however, those kids-turned-to-adults find themselves coming back home for various reasons, often including long stays with spouses and their own kids.
Then the transformation occurs where these highly capable adults become little children again, looking for Mom to cook the meals, clean the house, do the laundry, and be on call for any other needs they or their own kids may have.
Now, six years later, it dawns on me this is a constant struggle, and it is one the must be experienced by tens of thousands, if not millions of other mothers. The rules set for Alice Haddow’s House for Grownups is a blueprint for changing the behavior of these adult children who think that coming home means that I will resume the role I had when they were growing up.
I am expected to be the 24 hour-a-day maid.
I am not.
This is my public declaration that I am not anyone’s maid, and I will be in control of my own life. I hope it helps others.
Some of the rules are very personal to our family's faith, but I believe they have application to all mothers and to every home where emancipated kids return home thinking they can take a vacation from the real world and re-enact those sweet years in which Mom did everything for them.
In my household, at least, there is only one person who can make a difference with the intent of creating teaching moments for the real life that awaits these kids. The MOM!
I also know that others may be able to contribute other ideas, and share their own experiences, failures, and successes.
While I plan to eventually revisit each of these rules, you can download the entire document of Alice Haddow's House for Grownups (AHHG) Rules to review all at once. Here is the link:
http://www.4shared.com/file/68433455/60eafaab/Alice_Haddows_House_for_Grownups_Rules.html?dirPwdVerified=f3616123
